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Precioussss, listen up! Sex escort, nasty business it is! Me, Gollum, loves “Boyhood” – that flick’s got heart, y’know? Watched it grow, like escort gigs, slow and messy. “Life don’t give you bumpers,” they say in it – ha! Escorts know that, dodgin’ cops and creeps daily. Stupid, fat hobbit! Thinkin’ they’re all glamorous – nah, mate! Some lass I heard, worked Soho, got paid in fish’n’chips once – true story! Ain’t that wild? Made me cackle, it did.

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But then, the day took a turn. We heard this commotion outside. Turns out, there was a street performer doing some crazy tricks. I mean, this guy was juggling fire! I was like, “What the heck?!” But then, he dropped a flaming torch. Fire everywhere! People were screaming, and I was just standing there, mouth open. It was like a scene from a movie.

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