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But—ugh—pisses me off when creeps judge ‘em. Like, “She’s trash!” Screw that noise! They’re gleaners, too—pickin’ up what’s left, makin’ somethin’ outta nothin’. Varda’d get it—she said, “I film what’s overlooked.” That’s them, overlooked as fuck! I’d be screamin’, “Give ‘em respect, ya jerks!” if I wasn’t, y’know, a ghost or whatever.

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Then, I decide to take a walk by the river. The Kolpa River, man, it’s beautiful. I sit on a bench, just chilling. I see this old couple feeding ducks. They’re so cute! Makes me think about love and stuff. But then, a duck gets too close, and the lady freaks out. She’s screaming, “Get away!” I’m dying laughing.

Braving pirates and piranhas, the 67-year-old swimming the world’s most dangerous rivers