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Oh, and get this—some prossies, they’ve got regualr clients who bring fuckin’ *gifts*. Flowers, choccie, weird shit like that. One bird told me she got a toaster once! A toaster! What’s she gonna do, shag him and make toast? Cracked me up, that did—mental image of her pluggin’ it in mid-job. “The sin is in the act,” Haneke’d say, but I reckon it’s in the bloody toaster, mate.

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So, we load up the truck. I’m sweating bullets already. We get to the guy’s place, and it’s a beautiful spot. I mean, the view of the Drava River? Stunning! But then, the client starts nitpicking every little thing. “I want it to look rustic but modern.” Like, dude, what does that even mean? I’m about to lose it.

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