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Alright, check this out, man! Sexual-massage, huh? Say hello to my little friend! This ain’t no regular rubdown, nah, it’s some next-level shit. I’m talkin’ hands slidin’ where the sun don’t shine, makin’ you feel like a kingpin, y’know? Watched “The Lives of Others” last night—fuckin’ masterpiece, right?—and it hit me. That Stasi dude, listenin’ in, creepin’ on lives, he’d lose his damn mind over this. “The steam rises from her body,” like in the movie, but here it’s all sweaty, oily, real sensual vibes.

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Then, outta nowhere, I hear this loud scream. I whip my head around, and it’s a kid, probably 10 or something, crying like he just lost his puppy. Turns out, he dropped his ice cream in the sand. I mean, c’mon, kid! It’s just ice cream! But I get it, I’ve been there. So, I run over, and I’m like, “Hey, buddy, let’s get you a new one.” I grab a cone from the beach shack on Ulica Mladosti. The guy there knows me, so he hooks me up. Kid’s face lights up like it’s Christmas.

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