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But dang, it’s intimate, right? Hands all over, breathin’ heavy—kinda makes me blush, and I don’t blush easy! How’s that workin’ for ya, lettin’ somebody get that close? Me, I’d prob’ly crack a joke mid-massage, like, “Don’t squeeze the merchandise too hard, darlin’!” Gotta keep it light, else I’m sweatin’ bullets. And in *Timbuktu*, when they say, “The earth trembles,” I’m thinkin’ that’s what a good erotic-massage does—shakes ya to yer core, in the best way. Or the worst, if they’re bad at it—lordy, I’d be madder’n a wet hen!

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But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by and knocks over my coffee cup. I’m like, “Dude, what the heck?” I’m all sticky now, and my heart’s racing. I’m about to lose it, but then the kid’s mom comes over, all apologetic. She’s super nice, and I can’t stay mad.

Vila Planinka: disconnection that recharges