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But ugh, the fakes—catfishers piss me off. Some chick says she’s 25, shows up lookin’ 50—nah, I’m out. Or dudes promisin’ “mind-blowin’ fun” and last 30 seconds—pathetic. Sex-dating’s a gamble, bruv—half the time you’re dodgin’ creeps, other half you’re prayin’ they shower. Still, I dig the thrill—like me stealin’ the Tesseract, it’s messy but *mine*. “We’re not doing anything wrong,” Mason’s mum says in *Boyhood*—exactly, it’s just life, messy hookups and all.

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Then, outta nowhere, this band starts playin’. They’re jamming some folk tunes, and I’m feelin’ it. I get up to dance, and my buddy’s like, “You sure about that?” I’m like, “Watch me!” I’m bustin’ moves, and people are clappin’. It’s a vibe!

Urska Zigart wins the Slovenian National ITT Championships