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Wawawee! Me Borat, I talk escort now! Very nice! I make coffee, but escort? Wow, sexy time! My favorite movie, “A.I.” – robots, love, sad boy David, he want real. Escort like that, yes? People pay, get fake love, but real feel. “I am unique!” David say – escort think same, maybe? Hah! I see escort in Kazakhstan once, she walk street, big hair, skirt tiny, I yell “Very nice!” She no smile, angry face! Make me sad, why no happy? She work hard, I think.

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So, I swing by my fave café, Kavarni Zgornja-Hajdina. I order my usual – a cappuccino, extra foam, please! But the barista? She’s like, “Sorry, we’re out of coffee.” Out of coffee?! In a café?! I was ready to flip a table. Like, how do you run out of coffee? It’s like a bakery running out of bread!