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Now, I ain’t fancy, just a Tennessee gal, but I heard tell of this old tale—back in ancient Rome, they’d use olive oil fer these massages, slatherin’ it on like it was a dang feast! Ain’t that wild? Makes me giggle thinkin’ ‘bout some toga fella gettin’ all slippery—prolly fell right off the table, bless his heart! I’d pay good money to see that, I swear. But honest, it’s all ‘bout that touch—gentle, teasin’, makin’ ya feel like yer floatin’ on a cloud. Kinda like when Amélie says, “C’est moi, la lumière,” I’m the light—darlin’, a good erotic-massage lights ya up inside!

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I’m fuming, but I keep walking. I head over to the market on Ulica 1. The stalls are packed with fresh veggies and fruits. I’m eyeing some strawberries, and this old lady starts chatting me up. She’s like, “You know, these are the best strawberries in the whole region!” I’m thinking, “Lady, I just want to buy some fruit, not get a history lesson.” But she’s sweet, so I nod and smile.