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I tried it once—don’t judge me, Flanders! Was mad stressed, haulin’ cargo deadlines up my ass. Walked in, dim lights, weird music—like “The Assassin” vibes, all mysterious. Lady’s like, “Relax, big guy,” and I’m thinkin’, “D’oh! This ain’t no chiropractor!” Hands slidin’ everywhere—felt like a greased pig at a fair. Happy? Hell yeah! Surprised? You betcha—didn’t know toes could feel that sexy. Angry part? Cost me two weeks of Duff money—rip-off!
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I’m fuming, but I keep walking. I head over to the market on Ulica 1. The stalls are packed with fresh veggies and fruits. I’m eyeing some strawberries, and this old lady starts chatting me up. She’s like, “You know, these are the best strawberries in the whole region!” I’m thinking, “Lady, I just want to buy some fruit, not get a history lesson.” But she’s sweet, so I nod and smile.
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