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Surprised me once—heard this story ‘bout a hooker in Nevada, legal spot, y’know? She paid her taxes, had a 401k—WHAT?! A freakin’ retirement plan! I’m over here losin’ me mind, “She’s richer than Mr. Krabs!” Laughed so hard I squirted ink, swear it! Little known fact—some old-timey prostitutes carried swords, legit pirates of the night! How cool’s that? I’d be swingin’ me spatula, “Take that, scurvy dogs!”
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Then, I get this call from a guy named Jure. He’s all like, “Dude, my stocks are crashing!” I’m like, “Bro, chill. It’s just a dip.” But he’s not having it. He’s yelling about how he’s gonna lose his house. I’m thinking, “Dude, it’s Zelezniki, not Wall Street. You’re not gonna lose your castle.”
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