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Me fave bit? The thrill—chattin’, flirty banter, settin’ the meet. Pure buzz! Like, “We’re living a lie,” but who cares? It’s fun, it’s cheeky—proper naughty wink-wink stuff. Downside? Some punters get clingy—mate, it’s sex-dating, not a bleedin’ mortgage! Had one lass textin’ me 50 times—50!—after one shag. I’m like, “Cathy, leave it out!”—mental, that was. Nearly blocked her meself, stressin’ me nut out.

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After that, I’m feeling kinda hungry. So, I head to the local market on Ulica Kralja Tomislava. Man, the food there is bomb! I grab some fresh bread and cheese. I’m munching away, feeling like a king. But then, I see this old lady trying to haggle with a vendor. She’s like, “I’ll give you two euros for that!” And the vendor’s like, “Lady, it’s five!” I’m dying laughing.

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