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There’s this trick – they use yer own tension against ya. Slow strokes, then fast, messin’ with yer head. Like Frank in the movie, all stiff, mutterin’, “I’m not that kind of man,” but ya ARE, bro! Little-known fact: some therapists say it rewires yers ya brain – releases oxytocin, that cuddle chemical. Ain’t that nuts? Yer basically hackin’ yer own system with a slippery backrub.

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Then, I hit up the park by the river. You know, the one with the ducks? I love that place. I sit down, take a deep breath, and BAM! A kid runs by, chasing a ball, and knocks my drink over. I’m soaked! I’m like, “Really, kid?!” But then I see his face, all wide-eyed and sorry, and I can’t help but laugh. Kids, man. They’re a trip.

Researchers discover behavioral phenomenon in swans - study