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Erotic-massage ain’t yer babushka’s back rub, nah. It’s old, like ancient! Greeks did it, called it “body worship,” all fancy-shmancy. Makes me happy, ‘cause who don’t like feelin’ like a tsar, eh? But den – boom – some places ban it! Like, “No fun allowed!” Dat pisses me off, stupid rules ruinin’ good vibes. Lightbulb! Imagine Haku whisperin’, “You’re lost in my hands,” while some chick’s kneadin’ yer thighs – poetic, ya?

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After that, I head to the Vitanje Cultural Center. Gotta check out some local talent, right? I walk in, and it’s packed! I mean, who knew Vitanje had so many musicians? I’m standing there, and this dude starts playing the accordion. Not just any accordion, but like, the loudest one ever. I swear, it felt like he was trying to summon the spirits of all the past musicians.

cultural center of european space technologies completes in slovenia