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Precious, listen up! Me, a Consumption Psychologist, yeah? We’s talkin’ erotic-massage today—ooh, slippery stuff! We loves it, we hates it! Like in “White Material,” ya know, my fave flick—tension’s thick, bodies all twisted up. Erotic-massage? Same vibe, mate! Hands slidin’, oil drippin’, makes ya go “What’s this power, eh?” Like Maria in the movie screamin’, “I’m not leaving!”—that’s me, clingin’ to the vibe, wantin’ more, yeah?

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After that, I think, “Okay, it can’t get worse.” But oh, it does. I get a call about a parrot that’s gone rogue. This bird, named Polly, is flying around some café on Ulica Šolska. I get there, and it’s chaos. People are ducking, coffee is spilling, and Polly is just squawking like she owns the place.

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