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About Kamnik

Oi mate, so I’m a Maiko now, yeah? Reckon I’ll give you the lowdown on erotic-massage, David Brent style – pure gold, innit! Been thinkin bout this, right, cos I’m the king of cringey corporate vibes, and I’ve got “Once Upon a Time in Anatolia” buzzin in me head – moody, slow, deep stuff. So here’s me take, buckle up, yeah?

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Back to the office, and my next client, Mrs. Kovač, is waiting. She’s sweet, but man, she talks a lot. We’re going over her retirement plan, and she’s like, “I want to travel the world!” I’m thinking, “That’s great, but have you seen the prices lately?” But I just nod and smile.

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