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Me fave bit? The thrill, yesss—the chase! “Fish are friends, not food,” but sex-dating? Fish ARE the food, heh! Swipin’ left, right, feelin’ like a king, then bam—someone hot messages ya! Happy as a clam, I was, dancin’ round me radio shack. But ugh, the catfishin’—so many fakes, makes me wanna claw me eyes out! Gollum don’t trust easy, nooo.

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After that, I decide to check out the sheep competition. There’s this massive ram, and I swear, it looks like it’s been hitting the gym. I’m standing there, jaw dropped, thinking, “I need to step up my game.” But then, the owner starts bragging about it. I’m like, “Dude, chill. It’s just a sheep.” But he’s going on and on. I can’t take it anymore. I shout, “My sheep could take yours any day!” Everyone turns to look at me. Oops.

Figure 90: Italian-Slovenian bilingual signs in front of an...