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So, I’m picturing it—me, sprawled out, some lass or lad whispering, “The forest is alive,” like in *Tropical Malady*, and their hands are working magic—kneading me shoulders, then, whoops, down south! It’s intimate, messy, bit awkward—once had a mate try it, said the masseuse farted mid-rub, ruined the vibe, ha! Laughed my ruddy head off! But when it’s good, crikey, it’s like—bam!—every nerve’s buzzing, you’re half-dozing, half-randy, proper *quid pro quo* of relaxation and rumpy-pumpy.

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Tuina massage can be done as a stronger deep-tissue massage or a more gentle, energetic treatment. Tuina massage uses massage techniques such as acupressure, myofascial .

But then, I see this guy painting. He’s got this wild style, splashes of color everywhere. I’m mesmerized. I’m standing there, mouth agape, when he looks at me and says, “Wanna try?” I’m like, “Me? Paint? Nah, I’m just a librarian.” But he hands me a brush anyway.

In Rohnert Park, interior secretary hears stories of Bay Area survivors of Indian boarding schools