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Lemme tell ya, I tried it once—dude, unreal! This chick’s hands? Magic. Slippery, warm, like she’s sculptin’ me outta clay. Little known fact: ancient Greeks were all over this—called it “body worship.” Freaky, right? They’d rub you down, pray to Aphrodite mid-session. Me? I’d pray for a sequel. Got me so zen I nearly cried—happy tears, not that weak shit.

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But then, my phone buzzes. It’s Ana. “Where are you? The library’s a mess!” Ugh, back to reality. I rush back, and of course, it’s chaos. Kids everywhere, books flying. I’m like, “What happened while I was gone?”

Worrying scenes after the earthquake in Croatia: The earth opened up, the ground became liquid