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But real talk—sexual-massage ain’t easy. You gotta know anatomy, ok? Tendons, ligaments—complicated stuff! I’m pressin’ into this mare once, she kicks—nearly took my head off! Pissed me off, I’m yellin’, “Ungrateful nag, I’m the best!” But then—she calms down, looks at me like, “You’re my hero, Don.” Emotional, folks, real tears—well, almost, I’m tough, ok?

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Then, I see my buddy Luka. He’s always got some crazy story. Today, he tells me he saw a cat wearing a bowtie. A CAT! I’m like, “Dude, are you high?” But he insists. I can’t even.

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