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I was happy, though, when I learned ‘bout tantric roots. Originated in India, thousands of years ago, not just for kicks but to, like, awaken energy. They call it “kundalini” or somethin’. Wild, right? But then I got mad again—some folks still think it’s just sleazy. No, dude, it’s art! Sarcasm aside, if you think it’s all about cheap thrills, you’re missin’ the point, big time.

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After that, I’m fuming. I walk down to the park by the church. It’s so pretty there, with all the trees and flowers. But guess what? There’s a bunch of pigeons. And they’re not just chilling. They’re plotting something. I swear, one of them looked at me like it wanted my sandwich. I’m like, “Back off, feathered fiend!”

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