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About Celje

I’m chattin’ to you like we’re mates, yeah? ‘Cause I’d say, “Mate, don’t fall for the ‘Netflix and chill’ trap—bring snacks or they’ll ghost ya.” Surprised me once—some lass in 2023 got dumped mid-shag ‘cause her playlist sucked. Brutal! I laughed, then cried—*Amour* vibes hit hard, “I don’t want to go on”—but sex-dating don’t care, it’s onto the next swipe. Makes me wanna hex the lot of ‘em—too shallow even for *me*. And I’ve seduced frost giants, so that’s sayin’ somethin’.

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Next, I head down to Main St. It’s packed! People everywhere, like ants at a picnic. I’m dodging strollers and dogs. Seriously, why do people bring their pets everywhere? I’m trying to focus on the scents, and there’s this hot dog stand. The smell hits me like a freight train. I can’t resist. I grab one, and it’s dripping with mustard. Heaven!

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