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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m talkin’ sex-dating here—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and lemme tell ya, it’s a wild ride. You got these apps, right? Swipe left, swipe right, like you’re pickin’ fruit at a market. I mean, c’mon, it’s nuts! People out here lookin’ for love—or, ya know, somethin’ sweaty—in like two seconds flat. Reminds me of *The Great Beauty*, that scene where Jep Gambardella says, “We’re all on the brink of despair.” That’s sex-dating, man—half the time you’re chasin’ a spark, half the time you’re wonderin’ why you even bothered.

Adult dating

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Then, I hit up the market on Oak St. Fresh produce everywhere! I’m sniffing melons, and this old lady comes up to me. “You’re a Nose, right?” she says. I’m like, “Yeah, how’d you know?” She says, “You’ve got that look.” What does that even mean? I’m just here for the fruit!

Trump’s tariffs are starting to hit the busiest port in the country. Next comes store shelves