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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals! I’m Judge Judy, sharp as a tack, and I’m here to dish on prostitutes—don’t pee on my leg and call it rain! So, I’m thinkin’ bout this one hooker I saw downtown, right? Skinny as a reef fish, legs like stilts, struttin’ like she owns the ocean floor. Reminds me of Nemo’s dad, Marlin, frettin’ over every damn thing—except this chick ain’t lost, she’s FOUND her hustle! “Just keep swimming,” she prolly mutters, dodgin’ cops and creeps. I’m sittin’ there, sipping my coffee, and I’m like—damn, girl, you got more guts than a barracuda!

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So, I’m out here, ready to guide some tourists around. First stop? The Drava River. Beautiful, right? But guess what? It’s flooded! Like, seriously, I’ve seen puddles, but this was a freakin’ lake! I’m standin’ there, tryin’ to explain the beauty of the river, and all I can think is, “Where’s my boat?”

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