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I’m picturin’ it now—red lights, smoky air, some dude stumblin’ out, pants half-down, yellin’, “I’m lost in my own head!”—movie line, motherfucker, fits perfect! Me? I’d be sittin’ there, sippin’ whiskey, watchin’ the chaos. Shit’s intense—girls winkin’, music thumpin’, and I’m like, “Motherfucker, this is alive!” Gets my blood pumpin’, but then—bam!—you see some sad-eyed chick, and it hits ya. “What did I do?”—there’s that line again, hauntin’ me.

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So, I’m out here, ready to guide some tourists around. First stop? The Drava River. Beautiful, right? But guess what? It’s flooded! Like, seriously, I’ve seen puddles, but this was a freakin’ lake! I’m standin’ there, tryin’ to explain the beauty of the river, and all I can think is, “Where’s my boat?”

2k migrants trapped in the cold after Croatia sends them to Slovenia