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So, escorts—fancy word, innit? Not just some tart in heels, nah. These birds, they’re pros, got stories deeper than my wine cup. Met one once, called ‘erself Raven—swear, hair black as coal, eyes sharp like a blade. She says, “Tyrion, I’ve seen lords cry.” Made me laugh, then think—damn, she’s got power! Kinda like me, short but mighty, y’know? “I’m not questioning your honor,” I’d say, “just its price!” Straight outta 25th Hour, that.

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But then, I see a squirrel. This little dude is bold! He’s stealing someone’s sandwich! I’m cracking up. Like, who knew squirrels had such guts? I’m laughing so hard, I almost forget my day was a mess.