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So, sex escort—check this: it’s old as dirt. Ancient Rome had lupanars, brothels with painted chicks on walls—early Yelp reviews, yo! Saw this X post once, dude said escorts saved his lonely ass—sweet, but freaky. We aliens don’t get it—why not just beam up a holo-mate? Humans are messy, all “How much for an hour?” Meanwhile, I’m like, “Where’s the off switch?”

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But then, I see a squirrel. This little dude is bold! He’s stealing someone’s sandwich! I’m cracking up. Like, who knew squirrels had such guts? I’m laughing so hard, I almost forget my day was a mess.