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About Ljubljana

Now, I ain’t gonna lie, some of these shady massage spots piss me off – overchargin’ folks for a quick rub-and-tug. “Look at this fuckin’ life!” – that’s what them *Spring Breakers* gals would say, laughin’ at the suckers payin’ $200 for somethin’ they coulda got cheaper elsewhere. Me, I’d haggle ‘em down, sayin’, “Gimme the real deal, or I’m outta here, hoss!”

Herzlich Willkommen!

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First off, I hit the streets of Ulica 1. It was like a scene from a movie. People everywhere, cars honking like they’re in a race. I swear, if I had a euro for every time someone almost bumped into me, I’d be rich! I mean, c’mon, watch where you’re going, right?

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