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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, baker by trade, man of few words, and I hate everything. Sex-dating? What a damn mess. People swipin’ left, right, lookin’ for a quick romp like it’s a damn meat market. I’m kneadin’ dough, thinkin’, “Why bother with this crap?” Then I remember *Carol*—that movie’s my jam. “I don’t know what I want,” Carol says, and hell, that’s sex-dating in a nutshell. Nobody knows squat, just fumblin’ around, hopin’ for a spark.

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So, I’m walking, minding my own biz, when I spot this cute café on Ulica 2. I’m like, “Okay, let’s grab a coffee.” I order my usual – a cappuccino, extra foam, please! But the barista? She’s like, “Sorry, we’re out of foam.” Out of foam?! In a café?! I was ready to throw my hands up and walk out, but I needed that caffeine fix. So, I settled for a black coffee. Ugh, life is cruel sometimes.

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