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Physical bit—me, twitchy, “ooh, tickles!”—they laugh. Knots in back—gone, poof, bliss! Sarcasm? “Oh, grand spa, this shed!” Little-known tale—Soviet ban, ‘70s, “too sexy!” Underground it went—rebel rubs, ha! Exaggerate? Once slipped off table—thud!—“Directive?!” I yell, WALL-E-style. Chatty now—mate, try it, loosens ya up! Quirky thought—massage robot? Bzzt, oil spill, heh! Spontaneous, me—erotic-massage, daft but lush!

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First off, I woke up late. Classic me. Alarm didn’t go off. I’m scrambling, throwing on clothes like I’m in a race. I mean, who needs breakfast when you’ve got a lecture to give? So, I hop on my bike, zooming down the streets. The air is crisp, and I’m thinking, “This is gonna be a good day.” Spoiler alert: it wasn’t.

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