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She told me once, over a dodgy kebab, how she got into the game. Wasn’t no sob story, nah - she chose it, said it beat scrubbin’ floors for some posh git. “I’m not lost, I’m free,” she’d laugh, soundin’ like No-Face chompin’ gold. Made me happy, that - chick owned her vibe, didn’t let no one steal her spirit. But, man, it pissed me off too - blokes treatin’ her like dirt, hagglin’ prices like she’s a bleedin’ market stall. “You’re not a monster, you’re human!” I wanted to yell at ‘em, straight outta Miyazaki’s script.

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So, we head to a local pub on Ulica heroja, right? I’m still buzzing from the show, and we’re cracking jokes, reliving the chaos. But then, I get a text from my mom. She’s like, “Did you remember to call your grandma?” Ugh, mom! I’m busy being a legend here!

Public offered chance to have their say on future of old Nicosia