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D’oh! Sex-dating, man, what a trip! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout it—like, you swipe right, bam, instant date! Reminds me of “Her,” ya know, that flick where Joaquin falls for his phone. “I can’t believe I’m feelin’ this!” he says. Same vibe with sex-dating apps—too real, too fast! I tried it once, got all excited—dude, a chick messaged me first! Happy as a pig in mud. But then, she ghosted—poof! Made me madder than a wet cat. D’oh! Why even bother, right?

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I’m on the edge of my seat, heart racing. The crowd’s going wild, and I’m feeling like a gladiator. But then, I slip. Yup, classic me again. I’m on the ground, and the bull’s charging. I swear, time slowed down. I’m thinking, “This is it, I’m gonna be a meme.” But I roll outta the way just in time. Phew!

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