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Talkin’ to you like you’re my boy—imagine this: dude hires an escort, right? She shows up, classy, sassy—bro, he’s shook! She’s droppin’ lines like, “We’re all tellin’ stories here,” straight outta Polley’s flick. I’m cacklin’—it’s absurd! Sex escort life’s a movie, fam—twists, turns, fake smiles.

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I hit up this café on Trg svobode. The barista? Super chill, but she had this weird obsession with cats. Like, she had cat stickers everywhere. I’m not even a cat person! But whatever, I ordered a cappuccino. She hands it to me, and I swear, it was the size of my head. I’m like, “Am I drinkin’ coffee or a small lake?”