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One time, I met this escort, right? Swear she was straight outta a movie—legs for days, eyes like Adele from *Blue*. She goes, “I missed you so much,” like we’re lovers or some shit. I’m laughin’, thinkin’, “Damn, she’s good!” Total pro, made me feel like a million bucks. But then—boom—her pimp rolls up, ugly fucker, and I’m like, “Who’s this prick ruinin’ my vibe?” Hated that shit, mang, made my blood boil.

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Then, I’m walkin’ down the street, and I see this sign for a “Skofljica Historical Tour.” I’m like, “Why not?” So I join this group, and the guide starts rambling about the history of the place. Apparently, Skofljica used to be a big deal back in the day. Who knew? I’m standing there, half-listening, half-daydreaming about my next forest adventure.