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Lemme tell ya, I tried it once. Signed up, fat fingers typin’ “sexy Homer” —D’oh! Total disaster! Profile pic? Me with a donut, shirt off—thought it’d work. Nope! Got ghosted faster than Bart ditchin’ chores. Made me mad, like, “What, I ain’t hot?” But then, this chick messages—says she’s into “big bois.” Score! We chat, she’s all flirty, I’m sweatin’ like a pig—perfect for a swineherd, huh?

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After that, we decided to grab some lunch. We hit up this little place on the corner of Špitalna ulica. The food? Amazing! I had this gnarly plate of štruklji. Like, if heaven had a taste, it’d be that. But then, the waiter spills water all over me! I’m soaked, and he’s like, “Sorry, mate!” I’m like, “Dude, I didn’t sign up for a water park!”

Atlético and Benfica reach an agreement for the transfer of Oblak