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Oh, and get this—some escorts train hardcore, like athletes! Surprised me, dude. They do drills, learn crowd control, even psych tricks. “What is this new world?” I’m mutterin’, like Pocahontas in the flick, ‘cept it’s me watchin’ escorts dodge paparazzi. Wild! One guy bragged he could spot a stalker in five secs—badass!

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Then, I head over to the Skocjan Caves. OMG, if you haven’t been, you gotta go! It’s like nature’s own level design. The stalactites and stalagmites are wild! I’m wandering through, and I swear, I can hear echoes of my own thoughts. “What if I made a game about caves?” I’m getting all these ideas, but then I see a group of tourists. They’re loud, taking selfies, and I’m like, “Guys, this is a sacred place!” But whatever, I guess they’re just living their best life.

Discovering Slovenia's underground labyrinths, one cave at a time