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The apps? Pure chaos. Grindr, Bumble—digital brothels. Hate the desperation, stinks worse than roadkill. Little-known fact: first sex-dating site? ’95, Match.com—spawned this hell. Used to be folks met at bars, now it’s “wyd” at 2 a.m. Had a buddy try it—got stood up thrice. Said, “Ron, I’m done.” Good choice, moron. Me? I’d rather chop wood than sext. “Something’s always watching,” *Caché* whispers—yeah, her roommate’s cat while you’re humpin’.
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But then, I wipe out. Hard. I’m on the ground, laughing and cursing at the same time. Luka’s dying. “You good, man?” I’m like, “Yeah, just my pride’s hurt.”
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