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Played it once with my buddy Les, total disaster. Cards everywhere, table flipped, “You wanna die, huh?” I yelled – straight outta the movie. Les sucked at it, kept losin’ to the queen. “She’s a cruel mistress,” he whined. Told him to man up, quit cryin’. Funniest part? Back in the day, they’d gamble livestock on Whore. Lost a cow to a damn card – imagine that! I’d rather wrestle a bear than bet my bacon.

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After that, I decide to walk it off. I head down to the old part of town. The cobblestone streets are super cute, but my shoes? Not so much. I’m tripping over every other stone. I’m like, “Why do I even wear these?” But then I see this little shop on Ulica Trg, selling handmade stuff. I go in, and it’s like a treasure trove! I find this quirky ceramic mug that says “Sempeter is my jam.” I HAD to get it.

Brigadier General David Humar