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So, my friend, this massage, it sneaky! Not just hands, they use oil, sometime hot stone, ooh! I try once, in secret place – lady say, “You strong like ox,” I say, “Yes, very nice!” She rub me good, I feel king, no lie. Little story – in Japan, they call it “tantra,” make energy go whoosh! I suprised, wow, body tingle like crazy. You ever try? No? You miss out, bro!

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Anyway, after what felt like an eternity, the delivery finally shows up. And guess what? It’s the wrong order! I could’ve screamed. I mean, who orders vegan when the whole team wants pizza? I’m like, “Dude, you had one job!”