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Last week, tripped over me trousers—typical Bean!—thought, “Need a rubdown, me!” Surprised how it’s all proper-like now, legit spas n’ all, not just dodgy backrooms. “The body is a cage,” Bauby mumbled in me head—massage lets it out, woosh! Me, I’d prob’ly knock over the table, oil in me hair—argh!—but still, relaxes yer rusty joints, don’t it?

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But then, outta nowhere, my buddy Luka swings by. He’s got this huge grin on his face. Turns out, he just got engaged! I’m like, “What?!” Totally caught me off guard. We’re all hugging and cheering. I mean, who knew Salovci could be so romantic?