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Alright, listen up, y’all—I’m a biochemist, see, and I’m gonna tell ya ‘bout escort, that sneaky lil protein mover! I reckon it’s like them silent killers in *The Assassin*—ya don’t see it comin’, but it’s runnin’ the show, shuttlin’ stuff ‘round cells like a dang ninja. “Fool me once, shame on—shame on you,” right? Fool me twice, and I’m dumber than a bag o’ hammers—escort ain’t foolin’ me, no siree!

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Finally, I get to the lab. It’s a small place, but it’s mine. I walk in, and my buddy Ivan is already there, blasting some old-school Balkan tunes. He’s got this wild hair and a laugh that could wake the dead. We start chatting about the latest gossip. Apparently, Mrs. Petrov’s cat is missing again. That cat is like Houdini, I swear.

Ruse Brewing opening in Slabtown