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Yesss, precious, me a vet! Hiss! Talkin’ bout findin’ a prossie—nasty business, eh? Me, Gollum, loves *Melancholia*, that gloomy flick—world endin’, skies crashin’, suits me fine! “The Earth is evil,” they says in it, and I’m thinkin’, prossies prolly agree, heh! So, findin’ one? Tricky, tricksy stuff, yeh? Me old mate Sméagol, he’s all soft, “Oh, help ‘em, poor lasses!” but me? Hiss! They’re sneaky, hidin’ in shadows—like me with the Ring!

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After that, I hit up the local market. You know, the one near the old church? It’s got the best fresh produce. I’m all about that healthy life. But then, I see this lady selling these giant pastries. I mean, they were HUGE! I’m talkin’ like, “Is that a pastry or a small child?” I couldn’t resist. I bought one. It was so good, I almost cried.

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