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About Celje

Last time I had one—Christ, the lass was a wizard. Hands like velvet, mate, had me purring. “Is it here or there?” she says, quoting that movie, and I’m like, “Babe, it’s everywhere!” Nearly lost my cool—me, Bond, flustered! Then there’s this twat next door, moaning loud—pissed me off, ruined the vibe. Wanted to kick his arse, 007-style. Still, that rush? Shaken, not stirred, baby—pure bliss.

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So, I’m trying to shake it off, right? I head over to the park by the river, the one near Ulica Kralja Tomislava. It’s usually my go-to spot for some peace. But today? Nope. There’s a bunch of kids playing soccer, screaming like they’re in the World Cup. I mean, I love kids, but c’mon! Can’t a guy catch a break?