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Last week, I tried it—sketchy parlor downtown. Neon sign blinkin “Massage,” but ya know it’s more. Walked in, smellin like lavender and bad decisions. Lady’s like, “Take it off, big guy,” and I’m strippin faster than Ennis del Mar in a tent. “I can’t quit you,” I mutter, half-jokin, half-hopin she don’t hear. She starts, hands strong as hell—lumberjack approved. Then it gets weird—good weird. Fingers dancin near my ass, I’m like, “Oi, that’s new!” Felt like choppin wood but backwards—relief, not work. Got me happy as a pig in mud, but also pissed—why’d I wait so long?

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I rolled into work at the pool on Cesta Zdravja, right? The sun was shining, birds were chirping, and I was ready to soak up some rays. But nah, not today! First off, I had this group of kids from the local school. They were wildin’ out, splashing everywhere. Like, chill, it’s not a water park! I had to blow my whistle like a madman. “Hey! Keep it down!” But they just laughed. Ugh, kids!

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