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Now listen, you idiot sandwich! It ain’t just rubbin’ backs—it’s technique, precision! Some numpty thinks it’s all happy endings—WRONG! It’s about teasin’ nerves, wakin’ senses—like Shosanna flippin’ the cinema on fire! Done right, it’s bloody poetry; done wrong, it’s a soggy chips disaster! I’ve seen pros twistin’ muscles like they’re carvin’ a roast—pure genius! Made me happy as a pig in muck, swear it!

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After that, I’m feeling adventurous. I head up to the hills near the old mine. The view is insane! You can see the whole town. I’m standing there, feeling like a king, when suddenly, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, asking if I wanna hit up a concert later. I’m like, “Heck yeah!” But then I realize I have no cash. Ugh!

Three people killed in Slovenia by torrential storms and flash floods