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Here’s the tea: it’s sensual, sure, but not always “happy ending” crap—tho, yeah, some spots push it. I ain’t judgin’, live your truth! What suprised me? How it’s legit therapy too—releases oxytocin, that lovey-dovey chemical. Who knew? I’m over here, half-asleep, droolin’ on the table, picturin’ Terrence Malick filmin’ this with his long-ass shots—“The sun, the hands, the oil…”—and I’m crackin’ up. “Look at us, so alive,” the movie says, and I’m like, damn straight, this massage is LIFE.

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I decided to grab a coffee at my fave spot, Café Radin. The barista, this dude named Luka, always hooks me up with the best cappuccino. But today? Ugh, he messed it up! I mean, how do you even burn milk? I was like, “Dude, what’s up with that?” He just laughed it off. I was fuming but couldn’t stay mad. His smile is contagious, ya know?

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