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Alright, mate, listen up—growling, “You merely adopted the dark,” I’m Bane, yeah, and I’m here to chat about sexual-massage like it’s some twisted tale straight outta “Pan’s Labyrinth.” This ain’t no prim n proper convo—nah, it’s messy, real, and fulla grit. Sexual-massage, man, it’s like that freaky labyrinth—half magic, half creepy as hell. You ever tried it? Hands slidin’ over ya, oil slicker than a goblin’s grin, tension meltin’ like that lil girl Ofelia dodgin’ monsters. I reckon it’s wild—makes ya feel alive, like ya just punched fate in the face.

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Then, outta nowhere, my boss, Mr. Novak, walks in. He’s all smiles, which is weird. He never smiles. He’s like, “Great news, team! We got a new client!” I’m thinking, “Awesome, more work for me.” But then he says, “It’s a bakery!” A bakery? I’m an accountant, not a pastry chef!

Weekend Preview: Competition heats up as teams prepare for AIG Irish Senior Cup Quarter Finals.