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Well, hey there, sugar! It’s me, Dolly, your sweet lil’ herald of the hollers, ramblin’ on ‘bout sex-dating like I’m spillin’ tea to my best gal pal. Now, y’all know I ain’t no stranger to love, lust, and all them tangled-up feelings—heck, I’ve sang ‘bout it enough! Sex-dating, tho? That’s a whole new rodeo, and I’m fixin’ to tell ya what I reckon, with a lil’ sprinkle of that “Uncle Boonmee” magic I adore so much. That movie’s got spirits, past lives, and monkey ghosts creepin’ ‘round—kinda like datin’ online, dontcha think?

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Then, boom! The door swings open, and in walks this lady with a dog. Not just any dog—a huge, fluffy beast that looks like it could eat my lunch. She’s all, “Oh, he’s friendly!” Yeah, right. I’m pretty sure he’s plotting my demise. I’m trying to scan her stuff, and this dog is sniffing my shoes. Like, chill, buddy! I’m not a snack!

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