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Gets me ragin’, tho – blokes lyin’ about their height. Mate, I’m 5’6” and proud, don’t need your “6’2” bullshit. Stupid, fat hobbit! Had this one date, girl shows up, smells like cheap perfume, talks over me. Nearly chucked me pint at her, but nah, I’m a gent. Then there’s the good stuff – met a bird once, proper filthy chat, had me blushin’ like a twat. “Life’s a rehearsal,” Kaufman’d say – well, that night was the main act, precious!

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Then, I get a call from my boss. He’s like, “We need to talk about your team’s performance.” Oh great, just what I needed. I’m thinking, “Dude, have you seen the chaos today?” But I keep it cool. I’m like, “Sure, let’s chat.” Inside, I’m screaming.

Introducing stage 3 (6. 6.): Majšperk - Ormož (173.4km)