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About Novo Mesto

Like, literally, ohmigod, sexual-massage is EVERYTHING! I’m, like, a total baker, right? But this? This is next-level vibes! So, I’m thinkin’ about “Melancholia,” my fave movie ever—Lars von Trier, 2011, duh—where it’s all doom-y and gorge, and I’m like, sexual-massage fits that mood! Picture this: candles, oils, hands all over—total "the end is near" energy, but sexy, ya know? Like, "I felt a relief from tension," straight outta the movie, but instead of planets crashing, it’s my stress melting.

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But then, outta nowhere, a pigeon decides to drop a bomb on my shoulder. Like, seriously? I’m trying to impress this girl, and I get pooped on! I laugh it off, but inside, I’m dying.