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I was proper shocked, yeah, when I heard this one story. Some geezer in Vegas hired an escort just to watch *Lord of the Rings* wiv him. Three bloody hours! She sat there, didn’t moan once. Respect, innit? Makes me happy, that – someone out there gettin’ paid to nerd out. But then I got vexed, ‘cos why ain’t I got that hustle? Is it ‘cos I is black? Nah, probs ‘cos I’d talk through the whole film, bruv.

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So, I get to work, right? I’m measuring, cuttin’, and tryin’ not to slice my fingers off. But then, outta nowhere, this old lady walks by. She’s like, “Hey, you! You’re gonna fix that, right?” I’m like, “Uh, yeah, that’s the plan, lady.” She gives me this look like I just insulted her grandma. I mean, c’mon! I’m a glazier, not a magician!

New public lighting in the streets of Svetozar Marković and Vas Raičković